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Divorce of the Marriage is not a Best Solution

            One of famous issues around the world is divorce of the marriage. Divorce is becoming all too popular in this society. When a couple can not defend their marriage because some reason like they do not love each other or there is a dishonesty. Then, they think that divorce is the best solution to solve their marriage problem. Certainly, there are many causes why did most couple prefer divorce to end their marriage. Divorce does not only hurt the two adults involved, it also affects the children tremendously. Many people do not consider divorce to be that bad. Divorce is not the only answer to marital problems, in most cases. Although most people agree that divorce is a best way to end their marriage problem, I totally believe that it is not an exact choice to solve the problem after all.

            Opponents claims that divorce can make them more relax and more healthy because they did not get stress again because of fight and argument with the couple. When they said this they really ignored about the facts divorce can cause some disease for them. Based on A multinational study of mental disorders, marriage and divorce published in 2011 found that a sample of 18 mental disorders all increased the likelihood of divorce — ranging from a 20 percent increase to an 80 percent increase in the divorce rate. Addictions and major depression were the highest factors, with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) also significant. Another evidence, A study shows that the divorced or widowed have 20 per cent more chronic health conditions such as heart disease, diabetes or cancer than married people. They also have 23 per cent more mobility problems including trouble climbing stairs or walking short distances. Also Professor Linda Waite, a sociologist at the University of Chicago who co-authored the study, said the loss of a spouse or going through divorce can cause enormous stress for months or years which damages the circulatory system. She said: 'Stress affects your immune system and leads to increased inflammation. We're now thinking that inflammation is at the route of cardiovascular disease and certain kinds of cancer. That’s all some evidence divorce can cause some disease for our health.

            Opponents also maintain that divorce is best way for their children sake. For example, their children will be glad and no need to see their parents got fight and argued each other again. This argument once again did not think about the consequence of their parents divorce. There are some evidence how divorce affects on children. First, according to Judith Wallerstein concluded from her long term research project that the highest impact of divorce on children comes 15 to 25 years after the divorce, when the children enter into a serious romantic relationship. Not during their childhood, adolescence or young adult phase. They expect to fail and they fear loss, change and conflict. Second, according to Robert E. Emery divorce clearly increases the risk that children will suffer from psychological and behavioral problems. Troubled children are particularly likely to develop problems with anger, disobedience, and rule violations. School achievement also can suffer. Other children become sad for prolonged periods of time. They may become depressed, anxious, or become perhaps overly responsible kids who end up caring for their parents instead of getting cared for by them. Also many resilient children still report painful memories and ongoing worries about divorce, their relationships with their parents, and their parents' relationship with each other. Lisa Laumann-Billings and I (2000) studied the pain reported by 99 college students whose parents had divorced at least 3 years previously. Below is a graph of the percentage who reported painful feelings on some of our carefully structured items. Keep in mind as you look at these dramatic findings, pain is not pathology. Grief is not a mental disorder. Even though many of these young people expressed longing about their parents' divorce, these were resilient, well functioning college students. That’s all show how divorce affects on children at the present even at the future.

            The final argument by opponents said that after divorce and remarriage with new couple, parents will take care of children well without any problem. Over and over again, this argument is inconclusive. How can they think with divorce and then remarriage can build life peacefully without thinking about the consequence may appear in the future. Some evidence show the impacts of remarriage in the future. Firstly, In most cases remarriage will not have any impact on child support. The new husband is not legally responsible for the children. The children are the responsibility of their parents. The court will base child support on the incomes of the parents. This often raises problems when the children’s mother marries a new husband who is wealthy. Next, Compared with children of always-married parents, children of divorced parents have more positive attitudes towards divorce and less favorable attitudes towards marriage.Specifically, “adolescents who have experienced their parents’ divorces and remarriages may feel that marriage is unpredictable and unstable.”People raised in divorced families are less likely than those from intact families to believe that marriage is enduring and permanent, are less likely to insist upon a lifelong marital commitment, and are less likely to think positively of themselves as parents. Parental breakup also increases children’s acceptance of cohabitation, at least until adulthood. Another effect, The children of divorced parents, stepfamilies, or single parents are less likely to expect to marry. Children who have experienced parental divorce are more likely to expect to divorce, compared with children of intact families. Children of divorce also have more negative attitudes towards marriage and a preference for smaller family sizes, although the negative attitudes are mitigated by theirparents’remarriage . That’s all show that divorce and then remariage bring negative impacts in the future.

            It should be evidence that divorce is not a best solution after all. That’s all may just a little of the consequence may appear because of divorce. But, I am sure there is a lot of the consequence that will face by couple who get divorce because of many reasons that they have. Firstly, divorce can cause some disease for them. For example, some study show that it can cause PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), heart disease, diabetes, cancer, even can cause enormous stress for months or years which damages the circulatory system. Secondly, divorce can affect on children such as increases the risk that children will suffer from psychological and behavioral problems, report painful memories and ongoing worries about divorce, their relationships with their parents, and their parents' relationship with each other. Lastly, divorce can result some consequence that appear in the future such as remarriage will not have any impact on child support, adolescents who have experienced their parents’ divorces and remarriages may feel that marriage is unpredictable and unstable, children of divorce also have more negative attitudes towards marriage. Finally, all of the evidence show that divorce is not always be an exact choice to solve the problem of marriage life.. Therefore, in my opinion, divorce is not a best solution after all.

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References:

Haris, Sarah, 2009. Divorce hurts for life: Stress of breaking up harms your health even if you find love again, says study.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1202521/How-divorce-leads-heart-disease-diabetes-really-worse-health.html

Effects of Divorce on Children Retrieved from

http://www.children-and-divorce.com/effects-of-divorce-on-children.html

Robert E. Emery, 2016. How Divorce Affects Children.

http://emeryondivorce.com/how_divorce_affects_children.php

Source: Laumann-Billings, L. &. Emery, R.E. (2000). Distress among young adults from divorced families. Journal of Family Psychology, 14, 671-687.

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